Something new

My new gypse justin boots, since I've been riding for a month my dad figure it's time to by me new pair of boots and get a boot that is made to ride. So here's how the new pair of boots looked like, then once I used my new pair of boots it got a little bit of New Mexico dust plus the spurs to make every thing official. 

Back from the past...

Ever since school has been out and for the first time ever I am home again, and I have to be honest it feels weird to be back at home again. It feels weird to be home again because ever since high school I've been living in my own because I lived in the dorm and after high school was done I moved 5 hours away from where I live and I've been on my own ever since. But now that I am home again and been looking for a job, my dad has talked me into training the horse with him. The type of training method my dad has been using on the horse, is the "Clinton Anderson Method", I went from ground work to riding the horse. And I have to be honest it was scary and it was hard to be around a horse or to even rided one, it has been 15 years since I've been on a horse. But after gaining my confidence back I was able to ride the horse again and this time full speed. For the first time ever today, I actual saddle up the horse and rode the horse across the land we owned and I did all of this without my dad near by to guide me. I was so proud of myself today because I did it all on my own, but I still have fear of riding the horse full speed. Also not to mention that my dad had brought up an idea of me being in a rodeo again and do barrel racing, I will not lie I do miss barrel racing and I miss the speed of the horse. But until then I will be preparing myself and will continue to ride the horse until I have to go back to school.

Finally!

Hello, 

Guess what You guys? I finally gotten me an Xbox 360 kinect. To be honest I was really excited when I got it, I felt like a kid in the candy store and I bought the games I like and the other games are still on hold for now until I save up some more money. Now that I'm back home in the North of New Mexico, I forgot that I don't live in the city meaning that when I want to play online I lag a lot while I play online against other gamers. But I joke with my friends about me lagging by saying that, "I'm a lagging Master." Other than that I am really happy that I got an Xbox, and my gamer tag is ReaperGoddess. But I really wish I didn't lag a lot because with good internet connection I know I'm a away better killer on BlackOps2, and I can own up on my gamer tag name. Other than that I still have fun and joke around with my friends by singing stupid songs, and being goofy with them and sometimes talk smack. I have to be honest being the girl online I get a lot of jokes or I get picked on and sometimes I get really harsh names but I got back up. BUT if any of you guys have any recommended games for me to try out please comment me or message me, I would really like to try them out. Thanks and have an awesome day! 

Weakness To Strengths

My goal in life is not to have any fear when I get older, that way I can make it through life easy and can enjoy what is given to me. I am not afraid of bugs, death, old age, bullies, school, violence, and myself. Within my life I only have two fears, it used to be three but that changed. The one fear that I was able to get rid of was being afraid of the dark but then I finally got over my fear and now I can walk outside in the dark. The way I was able to concern my fear was facing it and be in the dark alone, also without the help of my friend showing me that there is nothing dangerous about the dark. The other two fears that I have are snakes and falling for the special someone. I really hate snakes, but it’s a funny thing because I never use to be afraid when I was little. Just thinking back I petted a snake when I was little and I was not scared and I held the snake in my hand. But since I’ve grown up I gotten to be more scared of snakes, I think it’s because I always get attack by one when I go home. I use to be really scared that if I heard a snake on the TV. Or see on I jumped on the couch and will not touch the ground of hours until I felt safe. But now that I want to get rid of my fear I was able to tone it down a little and now I can see one, but I still get spook by it. Then the third fear its falling for someone. I told my boyfriend about this and he said that he was scared too but it’s not stopping him to love me even more. The only reason I am afraid to fall in love with someone is because in my past relationships I get hurt and it gets worst every time, but I do hope that the relationship that I am in now is different and I will learn how to love and I will give it my all. But then it is really different then my past relationships because for one he respects m, loves me for me, cares for me, and most important he actually treats me like a girlfriend. Overall I well get all of my fears out of the way, and then I will happy to live my life to the fullest.  

Danzig

I have to be honest I love Danzig, he was the main reason why I got really into rock music. I mean I was into it like I listen to metallic and guns-n-roses, but after I started listening to Danzig I got into other music like bullet for my valentine, butcher babies, Texas hippie collaboration, trivium, slipknot, ACDC, Korn, evanescence, disturbed, and the list goes on. The more I got into the rock music I liked it more and more. Then from there, it got me thinking that if I was going to go to my first rock concert I would want to see Danzig. Another to be honest I had a crush on Danzig, I just like his voice when he sing especially when he sings “How the gods kill”, “mother”, “I am demon”, “dirty black summer”, and “twist of chains”.  When I was looking up concerts for Danzig I found out that he was going to sing 30mins away from where I live and so I made last minute plans and went to go see him in concert. I got to admit I enjoyed my time there and also I got to see Doyle which was a plus for me. Also not to mention that I got into my first mosh pit and that was fun, let all my anger out and laugh with people and made some made at me. The experience I had that night was amazing I mean it was worth the money I spent because he sang 3 more hours extra and the concert did not end until 3:00 am. But overall I had fun and I got to see Danzig in person and other amazing band that rocked the hell out of building.

(And I know that the concert did not allow people to take a picture but hell it was my first experience.)

High Step In Life

In my third year of college I finally decided to try out for the Miss Native NMSU Pageant. Throughout the week I had to attend a lot of events and I had to miss some of my classes. Luckily it did not get in a way of me doing my homework because I was already 2 weeks ahead of my class work in each class. On Monday I had to meet & greet everyone on campus and had to attend an open pray, then that night I had to ask some questions that the people or students had on campus so they can get to know me better as a contestant. On Tuesday I have to attend a American Indian Traditional Dance, Wednesday I then had to attend a comedy night with Jamies and Erine (Native American Comedian) and I also spent 5 hours serving Indian Tacos out to the students and the best part was that it was free, so I had to do a lot of work. Then on Thursday was a DJ dance. Finally on Friday it was the big day of the pageant I had to compete against two other beautiful young ladies, which I became close friends with. That Friday night was nerve wreaking, I was nervous and excited but over all I enjoyed every moment. On Friday night we had to answer 2 questions (one being why I want to be Miss Native NMSU, and the second was how will it be benefited in my school and experience), then it was our traditional talents, next was another question (randomly asked), then the crowning of the new Miss Native NMSU.
             

For my traditional talent I did something every unique, it was very unique that throughout the final school year everyone kept asking me questions and asked where I learned it from. But my traditional talent was about the hand, and what it represents in the Native American Culture along with other fun facts that relate to my topic. By the end of the pageant it was time to see who won the title but unfortunately I did not win. Overall I got what I really wanted from the pageant and that was being able to gain my confidence in myself to speak in front of others, making new friends, learning other cultures, being friendly to newer people, being able not to be shy, and the most important thing was being able to be proud of where I come from and what tribe I am. Also I was able to make my family proud and brought joy to my mom that I can still have courage, and my sister believing in me and supporting me, and my dad well he was happy that I got to wear my traditional outfit for a whole week in class and he was also proud of me that I still know my culture. 

Ashkii My Brother

Some people would think that it would be weird to call their pet, their brother. As for me I do not think it was weird at all because I never had a brother, I only had one older sister and we have our fun sister bonds but sometimes we both wish for a brother but that did not happen. So instead we got a puppy and we decided to call him Ashkii, and it met boy in Navajo. From the time we got him we took care of him like a close family member and he was on spoiled puppy, but we all didn’t mind. Ashkii was the most amazing dog I’ve ever owned in my life because he liked to play a lot and I mean a lot, he had a lot of toys we bought him. But since he liked to play a lot we thought it would be cool to teach him some tricks so I ended up teaching him to fetch within 3 weeks, we also taught him how to stay in one place, and then we were trying to teach him how to roll over, and he can jump very high for a small dog. Also the family and I would take him with us everywhere and I mean everywhere. We took him to town, to rodeos, and he enjoyed them long travels with us.

The family and I could never be so happy with our dog for the past 3 years, until one day it became a nightmare. It was a nightmare because we didn’t get to say good bye, because my sister and I were working out of state and our puppy ended up dying while we were gone for the summer. It was very sad because we felt like we lost a family member and we all cried because Ashkii was no dog or little puppy he was our brother, our little baby of the family. It hurt my mom, my sister, and my dad, including myself. It’s been 11 months since our Ashkii died, but there is not a moment that we all do not think of him. For example when I drive back home I keep thinking that he is laying in the back seat of my car as I drive, or when I come home I keep thinking that I well get a welcome home greeting from my brother. (tear). As for my mother and sister they were said because they did not have one picture of our puppy, and I was the only one who took a lot of pictures. So last Christmas I bought a collage picture frame and put Ashkii pictures in them, and when my mom and sister open their presents they cried so much as well as my dad.

Yes I miss my dog, and the other pet that we have owned. Thinking about it with all the animals that we had which were dogs, sheep’s, and horses we treated them like family and we all think about them. In the end we all miss our Ashkii, and we loved him dearly along with the past animals we owned (some died, some were stolen, some were sold, and some went missing).

Third Is A Charm

As you all know I have experience a bad relationship and over the months that has passed since then I was able to gain a lot of confidence in myself and heal my heart back up. Also no to mention that I am seeing someone and to be honest I never thought I could see myself this happy. It was a shock for me also because I am able to find someone who accepts me for me, and not change anything about my personality or futures. If it is one thing that I am sure about is that he is the one boyfriend I've been dreaming of and that’s having his support in anything that I do, encouraging, and someone who can turn my day around by making me smile. But I do enjoy our time playing Black Ops 2,  and playing 1 vs.1 which I got to admit it was sweet of him to let me get rid of the guns I hated when we played the “gun game”, but I own his butt on “sticks and stones”. Overall I am glad to have him in my life, even though we pick on each other a lot and take pictures of each other while we sleep it’s the type of relationship I've been hoping to find because I would rather be comfortable to be myself around him and vice versa. I’m happy that I found love again. 

Newbie Gamer

As you all know, I like to play Video games. (Just to mention it now "WhirlingTomb" is not my gamer tag name, it is my friend account and his system and please do NOT go and add him, HOWEVER I do plan on getting my own system so I can play anytime I want.) The one game that I do really enjoy is Call of Duty: Black Ops 2. I really like this game because it gets me the killing time and I got to play with other groups online. Online I meet a lot of rude people, nice people, sex’s people, jerks, and the list goes on. The people or group that I play with online are really good and their level of skill is up there, I also play with a Native American Group and other Groups most of the time we joke around or we play just to play. I'm considered a “newbie” because I just started playing a year ago and I enjoyed it ever since, plus my skills are not at an expert level. Overall I do enjoy it because it took things off my mind like school, family drama, and ex-boyfriend problems at the time. As months pass by I got really good at playing BO2, and from there with the type of friends I have they introduce me to new games and some old ones like Modern Warfare, Black Ops 2, Battle Field, Assassins Creed, Hunting Game, NCAA Football, Dance Central, Injustice: Gods Among Us, Ryse: Son of Rome, Titan Fall, Mortal Kombat, and many other games they make me play with them to unlock achievements and to past time. 

*With the Four Pictures that is provided below, it shows how I increase my level of gaming (but I die a lot). 

Killer Moments

Navajo Prep. Varsity #44 - Home 

Everyone has that one sport or on event that they enjoyed a lot in life, and my sport was basketball. Basketball took me places I never thought I could go and it made me a lot of friends and most important it was a life lesson for me. I've been playing basketball for 12 years, and with the 12 years I've been playing there was a lot of ups and downs that has happen for me. And after all the years I've been playing I hardly play any basketball because of one fear.But what got me interested in basketball, when I was little girl I remember that my older sister took me to the park and started doing all these fancy moves and me had no skills what so ever but somehow I manage to steal the ball away from my sister, and I remember my sister shock face of the impossible I have done (but then I think she did that to make me feel good about myself). That was the day I have decided that was going play basketball, so I tried out for my 4^th grade and made it and ever since then I've been playing in middle school and throughout high school. But ever since I started playing I was picked first five and captain, to me I was really proud to be first five but then I think it was because I was taller than most girls that I played against. And when i started playing over the summer, my main goal was to get MVP (Most Valuable Player). It was my goal because i always got all tourney and sportsmanship award, but guess what I got MVP and I was awarded with 2 jackets, a shirt, and a woman basketball (I gave a jacket to my dad because he drove me 4 hours to my tournament and supporting me). But with all the tournaments I hit up, I traveled far and got to go places and meet wonderful people who gave me advice and gave me good complements. From growing each summer I get offers to play for another team and I did, I took them opportunities and made the most of them. 

(District Champs)

(N.A.B.I. basketball tournament) 

When I started playing at the high school level I practiced 4 hours a day. (2 hours of girls practice and then another 2 hours practicing with the boys), when I practiced with the boys I was happy that the coach let me run with them but he said that, “if you start then you have to finish with us.”, and so I did. Also not to mention that I transfer schools right after middle school, I transfer to Navajo Preparatory School Inc., and it was fun to play against some of my old friend because we always goof off on the court. As the years pasted on the time really speed up because in one blink it was my senior year and I was excited for basketball season because my goal was to get a basketball scholarship and finish off with a big bang.

But unfortunately I could not fulfill my dreams that I planned since I was a little girl, because I ended up dislocating my knee in the beginning of the season, and from their I had no playing time and I was resting up not thinking it could be that bad. Well after begging  my doctor for a release form, and I mean I begged him to sign the form saying it was okay for me to play again. Once I got the release forms I was back in gear I was winning some games and I was enjoying my senior year. But hopes crash of finishing again, because this time ended up dislocating my knee again and this time it was worst. It was worst this time that I ended up getting surgery, I tore my MCL (Medial Collateral Ligament) and I also ended up losing 10% of my knee cap.

(Left knee)

After my knee surgery I went into denial, I just felt sorry for myself and I didn't want to do anything anymore I felt like my world has ended. It got really bad to here I did not want to believe in god no more and I was eating, but from my poor choices I got chubby and hurt my family from it. But at the end of senior year I have not played basketball but I did said sorry to my parents for how I been acting and I did ask god for forgiveness. Then when I went to college I was asked to play basketball for an intramural team and I was hesitant to play because I was scared that I was going to mess up knee again or even hurt my right side of my knee, but then I change my mind because I miss playing a sport that brought happiness to my life so I got over my fear for the game and well to be honest I did pretty damn good job because I was posting up and did my moves, and won some games. But that moment I was playing I felt the happiness on the inside of me enjoying what I use to love and forgot my problems.

Overall I am still afraid to mess up my knee again but I am planning to get back into shape and play basketball again and re-earn my nick name aka Beast (I got the name Beast because I was not nice and I was rough with other players at the bottom). In the mean time I will keep it safe and wear my knee brace, and my goal is to be better than I was in high school. 

Notification:

Later on today May 1, 2014. I will be posting 4 more blogs and one of the stories will be longer because it is something that i have experience and I thought I would share my story from start to ending. But i do hope you guy enjoy my blogs. Thank You for you time. :)

Bad Girl

Today topic is about Piercing and tattoos.

Personally I love piercings and tattoos, not because it is cute or just to fit in but it makes me who I am as a person it’s a personal choice I have made for myself and that’s what makes me unique.  What got me interested in tattoos and piercings was when I was small I’ve seen people with tattoos and I thought I was the most beautiful piece of art any one could own or have on their body, also the color of the ink popping out on the skin. Then the piercings I always thought it would be cool to have, especially around the ear because it would be different and unique to have.

But growing up I told my mom right off the back that I wanted tattoos and piercings but like any other mom she said “no”, yes it was sad but then I told her that when I turn 18 I will get my tattoos and piercings, and then that’s when she said that, “go ahead, it’s your body.” In high school I had two piercings and I still have them. Then when I went to college I decided to get a third piercing and so now I have three piercings on each ear. And I recently got a new piercing done in December, the type of piercing I got is located on my tongue. On tattoos I have not yet to get one, but I am saving up for the one I want and it’s going to be a back piece. To be honest I am looking forward to getting my first tattoo, because it’s something I’ve been wanting to get since I was a little girl, and I also plan on getting more piercings done on my ears and maybe, JUST maybe my lips.

Throughout the times I have gotten my piercings done and planning on getting my tattoos I had no support from my family and friends. I’ve been told that it makes me look ugly and I should grow up, yes these words hurt me because it shows me that my friends and family cannot accept me for who I became to be but, hey we are different but we share the same feelings on the inside. Not only the harsh words that were getting to me but my family members had pointed out that I am the bad example to my nieces and nephews because I was the only aunty that had piercings, but on the positive note I’m in college and still going strong.

Overall with all the piercings that I have, I do not regret it one bit. I do not regret it one bit because I love them and it was my personal choice since I was 6 years old. Also not to mention that it makes me unique and not a plain person. And if you do plan on getting a tattoo or a piercing make sure that it is something that you want and can agree on, also not to mention no matter what choice you make about getting a tattoo or a piercing you are beautiful no matter what. J

Choices of love

Why have mix emotions? What are they good for? Why does it always happens?

These are the questions I think about when things goes wrong for me when I’m in a relationship or when an ex tries to come back into my life. The longest relationship I've ever been in was three years but within those three years a lot has happen. But unlike any other relationship they have their ups and downs, and sometimes it’s a huge curve that turns into a wave and never wants to stay a straight line. But within those three years I have experience a lot. I have experience what any man or woman would have experience in their past or present relationships, and that would be cheated on, being call bad names, being push away, getting yelled at for no reason, having arguments, not getting any support, being put down, and any other bad experience that can create a deep scare. A deep scare that well allow you not to have any self-confidence, being yourself around others, and having a hard time to trust someone (not matter how hard you tried). And then there are the good times when you feel loved or cared for but sometimes that can only last for a little bit and it well go out, even when you try to fix it. But for others that fix their relationship and everything is better than ever you and your significant other, are the luckiest. And for the people that got that faithful love-able person you are lucky to experience the gift of love and passion.

Then you have those moments when someone comes along and your ex comes in at the same time, and you end up fighting your feelings and making a big choice. But making that choice is something that you have to think about and it takes up a lot of your time. When I had to think about choosing between two people, I think about the ex-past history between me and him. Thinking about the history between me and my ex weren't so happy because we are so far apart because of school, repeated arguments, and too many chances I have given because I was scared to be alone. Then there were times that I felt like yelling as loud as I can or go for a long drive, but I realized that I am only human and nothing can change that. Things maybe rough but I have to go through this big challenge that has come up into my life. But now that I have grown up more I have made a choice on starting fresh and new because, from my point of view if there were too many break ups, arguments, stress, worried, and others bad things that have happen in the past, then it is time for you to move on even if it hurts. Moving on well not be easy but it’s a start, a brand new start to fixing yourself back up and rebuilding that confidence that makes you, YOU. It took me three years to figure this all out, I had my parents and friends telling me that I could do better and I should be with someone who is caring, faithful, shows respect, and now that I see what they were talking about I am able to understand because I’m tired of getting hurt in so many ways and now that I am moving forward, I’m rebuild my temple inside and out so I can be happy with my self and accept the person who I created.

In the end we all hope that we find our other half. But I hope that everyone finds love and hope, but if it pushes you back down, get back up and have faith in yourself because you are unique and you are beautiful or handsome. You have a lot of opportunities in your life that are happening, so take advantage of it while you’re here, don’t go out and rush things and hope for the best.

After all the questioning to myself about my past and present choices, I have figure out my own answers. So why have mix emotions, why they are good, and why does it happen…

Having mix emotions is something that tells you that you have a heart, a heart that wants to be treated good or bad but it is up to you to make that big choice on what you desire the most in life. And why is it good to have mix emotions, it is good because it’s an experience that you have gain and you are more aware on what’s going on in the next relationship and sometimes it is good to know what are mix emotions are so you can help a friend or someone close. It happens for a reason, a reason for it to happen or not happen, if the person is right for you or not. 

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."
-Helen Kele

Related or Not

Navajo Culture

Yaateeh shikis (Hello my friends),

Well today I thought I would talk a little bit about my culture, and as a Native American I am proud to say that my tribe is Navajo (Dine). In my culture we have 4 clans, and within those 4 clans I can tell who is related to me and who is not. Having four clans allows me to find out who is related to me (it is like finding your extended family, that you didn’t know you have), and by just those 4 individual clans I can tell who is related to me. **Note that the people that are related to me are not blood line related. In my four clans I can identify my family members and calling them mom, dad, sister, brother, daughter, son, aunty, uncle, grandma, and grandpa. (It gets a little confusing if I explain that part but I am welling to explain it later, but for now I’ll leave it as simple as I can explain it). But for those who are not related to me by my clan group, it allows me to date or marry someone who is not related to me by clan. This is because in my culture it is wrong to marry someone within my clan group, it is like dating someone who is my family. I well give an example of my clan and my clan groups. AND to see other clan groups here is a website link that I use Navajo Clan System (http://www.members.tripod.com/~wulfspirit/navclans.html)

My clan groups for each of my four clans (The one that has ** are my clans):

CLAN RELATIONSHIP GROUP 2

Honaghaahnii        One-walks-around clan
(Original Clan) 

To'ahani         Near the water clan

Ta'neeszahnii         Tangle clan

Hashk'aa hadzohi         Yucca Fruit-Strung-Out-In-A-Line clan

**Nihoobaanii         Gray Streaked-Ends clan

Ts'ah yisk'idnii           Sage Brush Hill clan

**Dzi l t l'ahnii         Mountain cove clan

Dzi l na'oodi l nii         The turning mountain people clan

CLAN RELATIONSHIP GROUP 8                                             

To'aheedliinii        The Water Flow Together clan

Naakai dine'e        The Mexican clan

Nooda'i dine'e        The Ute clan
(Adopted clan)

**Keha'atiinii        The Foot Trains People clan
(Adopted clan)

CLAN RELATIONSHIP GROUP 9

Tsi'naajinii        Black Streak Wood People clan

Deeshchii'nii        Start of the Red Streak People clan

Kin l ichii'nii        Red House clan

Tl'izi lani        Many Goats

Tl'aashchi'I        The Red Bottom People clan

**Tsenabahitnii        Sleep Rock People clan

Shash dine'e/ Nashashi        The Bear People clan
( Adopted clan )

T'iisch'ebaanii        Gray Cottenwood Extending out clan

With the example that I have provided it explains who are related to me by groups. For instance: For my first clan which is The Foot Trains People Clan I would be related to The Water Flow Togther Clan, The Mexican Clan, and The Ute Clan. (So he/she would be my mom, dad, sister, brother, uncle, aunty, grandma, grandpa, daughter, and son. Depending on the order of introduction) AND I know that my clans are related to each other and I told you that it was wrong. But long story short my parents have asked their parents but they said no. (Messed up right, but it is all good at least I know now and I can prevent myself from doing that and I can carry on my tradition to my future kids.

The way I got my 4 clans are from my parents and my grandpas (one from my mom and one from my dad side). So, if I was to introduce my clan to someone I would say my mother clan, my father clan, my maternal clan, my paternal clan, and then after that I would say where I am from. But just to give an example I well use mine.

First clan (Mother Clan):         Keha'atiinii (The Foot Trains People clan)

Second clan (Father Clan):     Dzi l t l'ahnii (Mountain cove clan)

Third clan (Maternal Clan):     Nihoobaanii (Gray Streaked-Ends clan)

Fourth clan (Paternal Clan):    Tsenabahitnii (Sleep Rock People clan).

And this is the way I would introduce myself to someone and being able to find out who is related me.

If you have any questions/comments or you want me to go into more detail about my topic “clans” please let me know and I will be glad to explain and go into more detail. J thanks for reading and I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day.

What my blog is about...

This is my very first blog ever and to be honest I have no idea what to talk about or what a blog does. But the only good example that i know how to do a blog is from that T.V. show call "Awkward" and a girl name Jenna writes about her experiences in her life.

ANYWAYS Hello my name is Rae, this is my very first blog ever and to be honest I have no idea what to talk about. But for sure it doesn't hurt to try something new, right? Well as a first time blogger I will be talking about my personal experience past and present and wisdom that i have gain, in which i well be writing this blog like how you would write into a journal. The type of experiences that I well talk about is love, sadness, madness, achievements, excitements, and any other type of emotion that occurs.

As for my blog i well try to update a post every week or two because I am a college student and therefore i well be busy. But I hope that my blog well help others or get advice from anyone, because in the end we are here to learn.

:) Rae....OH yeah before i forget please leave comments and other stuff haha ...Have a good day